Huge Katana

Published on .
Tags: poetry, parody
This is a parody of Leonard Cohen’s famous song “Hallelujah”. When my friend Matt mistook a haiku for such a parody, I knew I had to make it real. Consider this a companion piece to “Hakuna Katana”.
The tales tell of an ancient sword
Musashi bore, to serve his lord
All spring I fight, when weaker men don't wanna
It goes like this: the stroke, the swish
The spray of blood, the stink of piss
I have no friends besides my huge katana

Chorus:
Huge katana
Huge katana
Huge katana
Huge kata-aaa-ana

From Edo to Hokkaido's shore
The only life I know is war
Each day of my existence is nirvana
A lesser man would lose his head
I know that I'm already dead
And to my son I've willed my huge katana

[Chorus]

I've read the Bibles Dutchmen sell
I scoff at Satan, laugh at Hell
I need no foreign Christ, and no Madonna
I don't believe a word they say
My Bible is bushido's way
My only god is called my huge katana

[Chorus]

I have no patience for the court
I've never been the courtier sort
I'd rather live life simply, kin to fauna
The finer arts are lost on me
Let others write death poetry
My dying words will be my huge katana

[Chorus]