About

About Me

Ha! Ha Ha! Ha and his two brothers! What could you possibly want to know about me that you can’t puzzle out by reading the home page?

A biography, you say? A description of myself? Very well:

The author is a three-foot-tall green-skinned elf living in an unremarkable part of the US, in the hollow interior of a pyramid 200 feet wide at the base. The pyramid is fuschia and loving it.

The top of the pyramid is truncated to form a Surface Square. Here the author has installed the only manner of ingress and egress: a lockable hatch, which protects a ladder leading to the living complex below.

The author subsists by cultivating the agricultural products of a steak bush, which grows in a pot on the Surface Square. A truculent eagle considers the steak bush its territory; when the author wishes to harvest steaks, he must give the bird a cut of the action.

The author can be or by an alternate method:

  1. Write down what one intends to say on a piece of paper.
  2. Stare hard at the piece of paper.
  3. Throw the paper away.

About This Site

This section hereby also serves as

and

Who

See above.

What

My home on the Web.

When

Indefinitely.

Where

Right here! You’ve already found it!

Why

My SEO expert has instructed me to blither at random until this website gets tired of me, packs its bags, and leaves – at which point I can shoot it in the back.

How

Ah, now we’re talking…